"How can you ever love them the same?" is a common question I hear. I have honestly sought to answer this question. Do I love them the same? In response to this question, I have to ask, "How can I?"
One of the great things about giving birth to children is that moment when they were placed upon a mother's chest and an overwhelming feeling of love  that is beyond description engulfs her. For me it was different with each one, yet the same. Each one was uniquely special to me. In that moment my heart vowed I would do all in my power to teach, love, and protect them.
As I thought about this, I knew this was a necessity for me to have with my new children. Why couldn't I have this feeling of 'connect' with them as well. Before my children came to be hosted, I prayed that if these children were meant for our family, I would have that special bonding emotion. A kind Father in Heaven answered that prayer.
It came quite soon for Alex. It was when I first saw him coming down the escalator at the airport. As he walked toward us, he was hunched inside his coat with a strange scared expression on his face. As I hugged him, I was overcome with that incredible motherly love and the thought came to me, "Oh! I didn't know he was handicapped. It doesn't matter. I just love him so much." There have been other times when I look into his eyes, and I just want to squeeze him as I feel the love pouring out of me!
With Jake, it was different. It wasn't overwhelming, but slowly grew from the beginning. There have been 'mama bear' times when I wanted to just scream at the person or people who made it so my little boy would cover his face and huddle in a ball on his bed, not letting anyone into his circle of pain and sadness. There have been other times when I want to kiss the feet of the woman who brought this dear child into the world, so he could be part of my world.
I had that special feeling for my dear Christina after the paperwork was all done, the judge had made his decision, and the first four week trip to Ukraine came and went. We showed up at the orphanage a month after leaving our children there for the final processes to be complete. Christina was working in the garden with her kind caregiver and friend. When she looked up and saw us, and the sweetest smile came across her face. My heart leaped, and I knew she was mine!
I can honestly say I don't love all my children the same. How could I? Wouldn't they have to BE the same to love them the same? I don't even love all my birth children "the same." They are each so different from one another, and I love them for it. They each have different talents and gifts that they share with me in their own unique way. Their wants and needs are each different. They each need a different part of my heart. Do I love them? Yes. I love each of my children, but none of them the same.

Other snippets of the mind of an adopted mother:

No comments:

Post a Comment