Trying to salvage the broken pieces of my dreams was never worked into my life's plans. But when I found myself going through a divorce, I decided one thing. I wouldn't become what I thought was the worst person on the planet to try to talk to- a bitter divorced woman. I had to come up with a plan.
This is how it went:

 - I would pray 100 times a day.

 - I would attend the temple as often as possible, but mainly when my children were gone for visitation.

 - I would stay in the scriptures every single day.

 - I would smile, smile, smile.

 - I would make time to cry, cry, cry. (This was vital to my healing.
  I had to let
 myself feel. My dad actually had to teach me about this one. He let me know it was alright to feel what I was feeling.) 

 -  I would associate only with people who were on my side for the first long while. I couldn't let anymore negativity into my life.

 -  I needed to have a lifeline and a backup lifeline. Any hour of any day or night, I had people I could call for comfort and advice.

 -  I made sure to leave my heart open to forgive completely, and to be patient while I wait for it to come. I have found it comes in stages, and these stages are very vulnerable.

 -  I would serve, serve, serve.

 - I needed to choose to believe in love and in eternal families again. I prayed for a renewed testimony of marriage.

- I would read one section from my Patriarchal blessing every night before going to bed. (A Patriarchal blessing is a special personalized blessing given to an individual  by a certain holder of the Melchizedek Priesthood given the authority to do this.) My blessing is a constant reminder that the Lord is not finished with me yet. 
- I needed to teach my children respect for their parentage, with no thought of my aching hear. They have a lot to be thankful for.

- Pray AGAIN! Oh, and again!

I am a work in progress. I know that. Being what I want to be is not happening over night. I still have triggers that can put me into a downward cycle for days, but I am trusting my Savior Jesus Christ to take my best efforts and make me into far more than my puny young heart could have ever dreamed.

See also:
Learning to Trust in Marriage Again http://corkyceran.blogspot.com/2013/11/trust-in-marriage.html
This Guy Really Helped Me! http://corkyceran.blogspot.com/2013/11/letting-nephi-help.html?spref=fb


No comments:

Post a Comment