Creation Therapy in Parenting

I have just discovered what I will call “creation therapy.” I learned about it quite by accident not to long ago. One of my children was being defiant and rebellious, and really didn't care that they were. They (covering up if said child is male or female) had gotten themselves into trouble without the least bit of remorse. They just wanted to know what the punishment was going to be. I knew if I handed out a punishment, I would get the nonchalant, shrug of the shoulder, “Okay.” I explained that I don't believe in punishments, but in discipline and natural consequences. The natural consequence of the behavior was the obvious temporary loss of trust, but this particular child didn't care about that and I knew there needed to be something more.

What natural consequence goes with “who cares if I break the rules, they are dumb anyway” attitude? I was stuck. I told my child I would let them know later what would happen. When they left the room, I got down on my knees and asked the Perfect Parent what I should do. I had the most overpowering feeling that my child should stay home from school the following day and can applesauce with me. “But I'm not canning applesauce tomorr....” I began to mutter. Oh, yes I was! ;)

The next morning I announced the consequence. “You will stay home from school today and help me can applesauce.”

“That's my punishment?!?!?” they exclaimed with a sly hint of “I won out on this one!”

The canning started, the silence in the room could've cooled my whole city in July. Once in a while I would give instructions on how something needed to be done, I'd let out a little giggle as I messed up on something simple, and I'd let them know they were doing a good job. After a while I got a response, simple and cold. Who was this drudgery for anyway? Me!

Some more time passed and my child started asking questions about why we cooked the apples first, “did they need to be pealed?,” and “were they smashed enough?” Then the questions changed to “can I do that?” And “is this the right way?” A humble demeanor was replacing a cold haughty one.

We even started having a few laughs here and there- together. I realized this precious child was learning to accept help, direction, and insight from someone they were sure they didn't need in their life. I also watched as the creation process unfolded, how good they felt about themselves. Waiting for the can lids to “pop” was our reward for a long days labor. Cheering quietly together as each lid did, was healing.

The act of creating is a God-like quality. It makes sense it is a natural way to heal from heartache, abuse, and even rebellion. I have since found other creative projects to do with this and the other children, some of which have come at crucial times when correction and bonding were needed. As we have sewed together, learned how to knit, and helped duck-eggs hatch, we have grown closer together. The child is not healed, but the relationship is mending by creating together, just as God knew it would be.