A Missionary Mom's Heart

I can't even describe the feelings of my heart in sending my boy into the world to teach others about Jesus Christ. There are days my heart is so happy I can feel it jumping up and down inside of me. But there are other days I long for a "Caleb hug" more than anything in the world. He is a soothing son, and there are times I think I need him fiercely. But honestly, I wouldn't want him anywhere else in the world than where he is. Even in the moments I let the tears flow, I wouldn't want him back home right now. He is where the Lord wants him, and that's right where I want him, too. As I watched my niece being sealed to her parents in the temple last week, I loved what Caleb is doing. Everything he's doing is about bringing others to Christ so they can ultimately be sealed for this life and eternity in the temple of God. I want other families to have that, so I will "let my son go for two years so others can be with their families forever." It is worth the trade.

Caleb says he is not perfect at being a missionary. Well, I'll admit right along with him, I am not a perfect missionary mom. I count the days a little too often. I look at his picture a little too much. I still haven't washed the shirt in his closet so I can go down and smell it any time I want to. And I still call my other sons Caleb at times and feel the ping in my chest when I know he won't answer. But I am glad he is serving, and I will continue to pray for him and love him and support him in any way I can.  


And even from far across the continents, he carries me through many hard times with his love and encouragement. He is such a good son, and SUCH a good missionary. He brings honor to his father, his mother, and to me, his "second mother," an affectionate title he gave me that I will always cherish. He told me once, "You are my second mother only because you came second. There is no other reason." Well, he is my son that I share with his mother. :) It's wonderful how things turn out.