Creation Therapy in Parenting

I have just discovered what I will call “creation therapy.” I learned about it quite by accident not to long ago. One of my children was being defiant and rebellious, and really didn't care that they were. They (covering up if said child is male or female) had gotten themselves into trouble without the least bit of remorse. They just wanted to know what the punishment was going to be. I knew if I handed out a punishment, I would get the nonchalant, shrug of the shoulder, “Okay.” I explained that I don't believe in punishments, but in discipline and natural consequences. The natural consequence of the behavior was the obvious temporary loss of trust, but this particular child didn't care about that and I knew there needed to be something more.

What natural consequence goes with “who cares if I break the rules, they are dumb anyway” attitude? I was stuck. I told my child I would let them know later what would happen. When they left the room, I got down on my knees and asked the Perfect Parent what I should do. I had the most overpowering feeling that my child should stay home from school the following day and can applesauce with me. “But I'm not canning applesauce tomorr....” I began to mutter. Oh, yes I was! ;)

The next morning I announced the consequence. “You will stay home from school today and help me can applesauce.”

“That's my punishment?!?!?” they exclaimed with a sly hint of “I won out on this one!”

The canning started, the silence in the room could've cooled my whole city in July. Once in a while I would give instructions on how something needed to be done, I'd let out a little giggle as I messed up on something simple, and I'd let them know they were doing a good job. After a while I got a response, simple and cold. Who was this drudgery for anyway? Me!

Some more time passed and my child started asking questions about why we cooked the apples first, “did they need to be pealed?,” and “were they smashed enough?” Then the questions changed to “can I do that?” And “is this the right way?” A humble demeanor was replacing a cold haughty one.

We even started having a few laughs here and there- together. I realized this precious child was learning to accept help, direction, and insight from someone they were sure they didn't need in their life. I also watched as the creation process unfolded, how good they felt about themselves. Waiting for the can lids to “pop” was our reward for a long days labor. Cheering quietly together as each lid did, was healing.

The act of creating is a God-like quality. It makes sense it is a natural way to heal from heartache, abuse, and even rebellion. I have since found other creative projects to do with this and the other children, some of which have come at crucial times when correction and bonding were needed. As we have sewed together, learned how to knit, and helped duck-eggs hatch, we have grown closer together. The child is not healed, but the relationship is mending by creating together, just as God knew it would be.

Just one vote?

We the People

When I moved from South Jordan, Utah to Ogden, Utah a number of years ago I drove the 50 minute drive to my old city to put in my vote in the primary election. Why would I pack up my little children and make such a long drive just for my single vote? Because I grew up with a mother who taught her children through story telling.

She once told me of a far away land, a land where people were just granted voting rights, a land where there was incredible resistance and horrible violence done to those who used their new found privilege. A woman in this far off land had a daughter with no feet. When asked what happened to her feet, the brave woman replied, “They told me if I voted, they would cut off my baby's feet. They kept their promise.” Just for one vote!

I have a dear friend whose husband has Parkinson disease. Because it is so difficult for him to do small things, even as simple as getting in and out of a chair, they decided to vote early. After sending in their ballots, dear Mr. Smith realized he forgot to sign his ballot. So on election day, Mr. and Mrs. Smith drove into the city and had the election judge go through the box until she found his ballot, just so he could sign it. He knew his one vote counted!

I've had the opportunity to be an election judge on occasion. One year was I was taught a priceless lesson. The precincts and poll locations had been changed, creating an enormous amount of confusion to the voters. I watched as a young man walked in, found his poll location was different, stormed out of the building and shouted, “I just won't vote!”

I watched as another man came in, much older, much slower, with each step a burden to his entire body. He was guided by what looked like an adult daughter. I wished there were no stairs and that the table was closer to the door. When he got to the table he explained that this was his third try to find his polling place. I was so glad when we found his name in our large book. He then asked if his relative could sign the book for him. I didn't know, so I told him I thought he should do it. As he put his cane against the table and tried to balance himself while keeping his hand still, I could see in his eyes as the pain shot up his arm and went throughout his body. I apologized for making him do it. He was kind in his reply. He started toward the booth. After an extended period of time, he started the painful process back to his car. All to cast one vote!

Men and women have died so that we can cast one vote each. Did these people die in vain? These people died so we can be “we the people,” not “well, my one vote won't count anyway.” I once heard a man say, “No decision is your decision!” Yes, it is. And yes, your one vote counts because it is your decision. Make it count for you, for your children, and for America's future. Just one vote makes all the difference.

General Conference Traditions

“Mom, when is general conference?”
"Just three more weeks."
 “Oh, good!” is her sincere answer.

This is a conversation I had with my fourteen-year-old daughter, Christina, a few weeks ago. We've had similar ones ever since. My teenage daughter is sincerely excited for general conference!

Traditions are key to the success of any activity. My children thrive on traditions. One or more of them will remind me weeks in advance of what I need to do to start getting ready for the upcoming occasion. That's good because I am a very last minute person and if they didn't remind me, things just may not happen. One semi-annual tradition we have is watching the general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But not only do we watch it, we make it an event, a big huge deal! It is my favorite weekend out of the year, so why not make it big?!

We usually start the week off with a family home evening lesson on listening to and following the prophet. Then we write down questions we have that we want answered during the two days of watching, listening and feeling.

We start the day off with the traditional creamed egg breakfast and orange rolls. This tradition started with Gary and his first wife, Cheryl, probably to use up all the eggs from the Easter bunny. We have carried it on, although some of the new children are not fans of creamed eggs. The newest children, however, love them! It doesn't matter what the traditional meal is in any family; it only matters that something is special about the food.

 

Another thing we do is play conference bingo where we can use candy to mark the square of what is mentioned. In April the children use Easter candy for the game cards, in October it's Halloween candy, of course. The children also have conference notepads so they can take notes. We also get to snack on the food from the emergency kits since conference is a perfect six month reminder that the food is getting stale.

Saturday night is the Priesthood session of conference. We all bring food and meet at my parent's house. The ladies and children work on a service or other enrichment activity while the older boys and men go to the session together. When they return home, we eat....and eat and eat and eat. Over the years we have finally learned to bring enough food for our large family.

The activities are basically the same on Sunday, except on this day we dress up in our Sunday clothes. I actually dress up for the Saturday session, as well, because I once heard a person will dress up for something that is important to them. Conference is one of those things, so I make it a point to be in a dress. My children still choose to be in play clothes on Saturday. :)

Conference isn't over yet. When Monday night rolls around, everyone knows it's the semi-annual general conference family home evening jeopardy challenge! Any notes they have taken over the weekend may be used to help answer questions (with prizes, of course) for their team. I use the same game board every time so it's easy to write down questions and put them under the picture of the particular prophet and apostle that talked about that particular subject. My goal is to reinforce what was taught over the previous two days. Last spring I changed the questioning from “listening” questions to “feeling” questions. “What did you feel when the prophet said.....?” or “How can you better apply........?” Some of the answers brought tears to my eyes as I knew they children were getting it in the best way possible.



I love how excited my family is for general conference because it is truly the best time of the year!

Updated March 12, 2014 for the 2014-2015 School Year

How things work in Corky's Kids Hands-on Learning Preschool

My main focus is reading. That is why it is mandatory for children to have reading books this year. The books cost $12.00, and they are yours to keep. I believe reading helps a child socially, scholastically, and spiritually! If I am the only one helping them, they will be better off than not; but if I am assisting YOU, they will soar!!! My goal for each of your children is that they will soar! I will send your child home with a sticker on his/her shirt when they pass off a book. (This is an exciting day for your child.) PLEASE LET YOUR CHILD READ TO YOU EVERY DAY!

Prayer- Heavenly Father is very interested in their learning. I will always do it with His help, so we will start each day with prayer. :) The children will take turns. I will help them if they need help.

Pick up and drop off- ON TIME! ON TIME! Pick up and drop off on my side of the street. Please don't let children cross the street without you. I will open the door for the children to enter right at 10:00 for the morning class and 12:30 for the afternoon class. IF THEY ARE LATE, it is your responsibility to bring them downstairs to the preschool room. But please, disrupting a preschool class is so hard. Their focus is gone so fast, and one late student really is a huge distraction.

Name- HOLD PENCIL. Please help your child learn to hold a pencil by making “pincher fingers” with his/her thumb and forefinger then resting the pencil on the other three fingers. We work on their name at least once every day. They will either use a laminated card (that will stay in class) or they will have a name paper that they will take home.

Payment- I understand tight checkbooks. I know there are hard months, but please budget preschool into your monthly bills. I have to pay my bills on time; that is why I had to set up a late fee this year.

Schedule-

AM class

10:00 - 10:05 Greeting, shoes, coats off

10:05 -10:30 Carpet time: Prayer, pledge, intro to letter/subject, blending, patterns, songs, etc.

10:30 -10:50 Writing time: Name, shapes, patterns, numbers, words, etc.

10:50 -10:55 Snack: crackers and water

10:55 -11:30 Activity: Create, play-dough, paint, cut, glue, color, etc

11:30 - 11:50 Play/Individual reading with me (Half of the children read with me each play time.)

11:50 - 12:00 Clean up and ready to go

PM class

12:30 -12:35 Greeting, shoes, coats off

12:35 -1:00 Carpet time: Prayer, pledge, intro to letter/subject, blending, patterns, map, songs, etc.

1:00 - 1:20 Writing time: Name, shapes, patterns, numbers, words, etc.

1:20 - 1:25 Snack: crackers and water

1:25 - 2:00 Activity: Create, play-dough, paint, cut, glue, color, etc.

2:00 - 2:20 Play/Individual reading with me (Half of the children read with me each play time.)

2:20 - 2:30 Clean up and ready to go

Living on a Dime

I think the best way to save money is just not to spend it. :) That sounds easy and all, but there are some things that are necessary to buy and some things that, as a culture, we deem as necessary. Here are a few ways I have saved money this year.


Library fines
(Who me? Ummm......yeah, the librarians just count on it.)
I pay my library fines by finding fifty cent to $1.00 (no more ever!) movies at yard sales. The librarian will take them in exchange for my humungous fines.

Groceries
I buy groceries at Walmart where I can price match. Before my Walmart price matching frenzies, I use to shop at Maceys. I loved Maceys. I was in Maceys last night and was amazed at how expensive everything seemed to be.
See http://corkyceran.blogspot.com/2013/05/grocery-shopping-at-half-price.html

Gifts
I buy birthday and Christmas gifts at garage sales, on sale, and at second hand stores. I buy them when I find them so my closet is always off limits because that's where I keep my treasures. I also keep in mind the things that are coming. We have a gift exchange at Christmas time; we have an ugly sweater contest in December; and we have extended family birthday parties once a month. There are always friends and family members having babies. Weddings are just around the corner. I keep my eyes peeled for gifts that look new and are something I wouldn't be ashamed of giving. I find so many things. For example, I found a  newlywed book written by Dr. Lund. He's a leading counselor on family issues. His ideas are great, and his stories are interesting and fun to read. It's a great wedding gift, and it was only fifty cents! For more examples see
http://corkyceran.blogspot.com/2013/05/an-example-of-my-garage-sale-deals.html and http://corkyceran.blogspot.com/2013/05/christmas-shopping-in-may-on-tight.html.


School Clothes
Yes, it's that time again, and I have 5 K-12 students this year. I mentioned the other day that as soon as my children's room were clean, I would pull out their school clothes. "What? We have school clothes?" Sure, we do. I have been stacking them on the top shelf of my closet, in order of age, for months now. Are they new? Not most of them, but they sure are nice. AND they were cheap! Again, I've been watching for great deals throughout the year. I was tempted many times to pull them down and give them to the children, but I kept in mind the day they would be so excited to have "new" clothes for the new school year.
There are still things for each child I need to buy. They all need socks and underwear, most of them still need shoes, and my six foot 145 pound Michael is not an easy one to find pants for, so I'll be having to find a tall and slim store for that one! :)

I'm going to be grow up and be a bum!

I first heard of this interesting line of work as a life's goal the first semester some of my children were in American schools. I was trying to convince my daughter to get her homework done when she asked in broken English, "Why you care? This my school."

"I want you to be able to go to college and get a good education so you can get a good job if you need to someday."

"I don't want to go college," she responded matter-of-factly.

"Oh, then how will you get a job if something happens to your husband?"

"I won't."

"Oh? Well, then how will you make money?"

"I'll beg!"

Shocked, I practically hollered, "I didn't bring you all the way to America to be a bum!"

Even more shocked, she shot back, "You just brought me here to work?"

ARG! I was swamped in a losing battle.

Obviously there was more culture shock than I was aware there would be. On both ends. I don't understand the mentality. But you know what? It's what they knew. When we hosted them, we asked them through a translator what they would like to be when they grow up. Christina and Alex had no idea. I've never heard of a child just not knowing what they want to be. Even the children in my preschool class want to be SOMETHING, even if it's a frog Prince. Jake did tell us he wanted to be a police officer. It took a very long time before our other ehildren would ever say what they want to be someday.

Today Christina dreams of serving an LDS mission to Greece, getting married, adopting a child from Africa, and even talks of becoming a pediatrician (after years of college!) She can do it, too. She's a bright girl and she's a girl who has learned how to dream, set goals, work hard, and how to accomplish what she can dream.

As for Alex, he found his dream job when we were in Mexico this past summer and saw a fire-breather on the street. Alex thought he was so cool, but wondered why he was doing it in the middle of the road. I explained that he was waiting for people to throw money to him. His eyes lit up as he almost yelped, "What a GREAT way to earn money!!!"

And Jake? He's going to marry a rich woman who likes to work, so he'll be provided for his whole life.

Luckily, we still have time.

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Preschool Information

Corky's Kids Hands-on Learning Preschool

My name is Corrine Ceran. I started teaching children to read when I was twelve years old and it was my job to help my little sister and her friend learn the basics. I’ve loved it ever since.  My school is Christian based with a focus on reading before Kindergarten. However, I love teaching all subjects and believe in a well-rounded education at all levels. I incorporate basic life skills with all our learning- kindness, helpfulness, listening, and trying again when we mess up as we learn letters and sounds, animals, people and places, math skills and on and on. My classses are small so I can focus on each child at their level. We do crafts that go along with our lessons and science experiements to get the ‘wow’ effect that comes with true learning. Call or text at 801-735-3526 with questions or to tour our little school.

Schedule

3-4 year old class: Tuesdays and Thursdays 10 am-12 pm (8 students)

4-5 year old class: Tuesdays and Thursdays 12:30-2:45 pm (10 students)

Classes start on August 20, 2019

Preschool graduation in on May 21, 2020

Prices

Tuition is $60 a month for the 3-4 year old class and $70 for the 4-5 year old class.
(August is half price.)

Registration is $40.00 and is due at the time of registration.
I also require a $13.00 set of 12 books for at-home reading. I will order them & the books are yours!

Class Schedule

AM class (3-4 year olds, 2 hours)

10:00 - 10:05 Greeting, shoes, coats off

10:05 -10:30 Circle time: Prayer, pledge, intro to letter/subject, blending, patterns, songs, etc.

10:30 -10:50 Writing time: Name, shapes, patterns, numbers, words, etc.

10:50 -10:55 Snack: crackers and water

10:55 -11:30 Activity: Create, play-dough, paint, cut, glue, color, science experiments, etc

11:30 - 11:50 Play/Individual reading with me (Half of the children read with me each play time.)

11:50 - 12:00 Clean up and ready to go

PM class (4-5 year olds, 2 hours 15 minutes)

12:30 -12:35 Greeting, shoes, coats off

12:35 -1:00 Circle time: Prayer, pledge, intro to letter/subject, blending, patterns, map, songs, etc.

1:00 - 1:20 Writing time: Name, shapes, patterns, numbers, words, etc.

1:20 - 1:25 Snack: crackers and water

1:25 - 2:00 Activity: Create, play-dough, paint, cut, glue, color, etc.

2:00 - 2:20 Play/Individual reading with me (Half of the children read with me each play time.)

2:20 - 2:35 Circle time review

2:35 - 2:45 Clean up and ready to go

Place

I have a preschool room in my home in Eagle Mountain City Center where each class is held.